Monday, 27 January 2014

Being misunderstood

The impact of being bullied and being misunderstood runs so deeply that it can make or break you in life. In this blog, I do not really want to go into all the ugly details, or make light of the devastation of being misunderstood, but communicate more a story and something to think about.

You know, sometimes we just need to take a moment and look at our own unhealthy quick judgements (this can be about others or ourselves). I know that I am sometimes quick to judge, and misread situations and people, and am too on a journey to change my worldview and mindset. We are all learning and growing as we allow ourselves to open our minds.

I guess by being more careful, respectful (and in many cases just taking the time to listen and get to know the person) a new understanding will open up. We are all so uniquely different and changing our own worldview takes time and awareness.

I was listening to a talk back radio station the other day on one of my trips to work, and heard an interview from one of Australia's top journalists, Lisa Wilkinson and her story about being bullied. She was a very good ballerina and that was her aim in life, however she was bullied and it became physical. When she finished year 12 she can remember thinking... "I can now leave all this behind and start afresh". A really powerful story .

I was misunderstood at school for being different. In fact the bullying and teasing got so bad that at one stage I was about to move schools and my Mum had to intervene. I spent my time as a volunteer in the library in the morning, just to get away from the girls, this was all when I was in year 7.

For the rest of my school years the relationships were always strained and even now people walk by, which is ok. I sometimes wonder what it was that I represented or did that upset them so much to treat me or make this judgement on me? Hurting people hurt people...

I was brought up in a middle class household of teachers from an English background. I was always singing, dancing and playing the Flute. I was so musical creative, strong willed and had a slight English accent. I was told I was posh, didn't fit in, stuck up, full of myself and all the horrible words that people say to others when someone is different.

During my high school years, I always struggled with being different, I was not sporty, cool, beautiful enough or wore the right clothes. I was independent had different interests and influences and many times felt so alone and lacked confidence in who I was. There were only a handful of friends, that loved me and stood by me all through these years. To this day we are all still really close friends.

Being totally misunderstood can be heart breaking, and it doesn't stop when you leave school... It happens throughout yr life. The devastating thing about being misunderstood is that people make quick judgements if you do not fit in with their worldview, they bully and use intimidation towards you as YOU do something that unsettles their world.....

It might even be a challenge..... Yes, that is it YOU challenge their narrow mindset of their world view and they feel uneasy and unsettled.... something is happening and they do not know how to handle it.

Bullying and being misunderstood happens all through our life, it never stops.....I will not get into the horrible mess, but many of my decisions and actions have been a backlash of wanting to fit in and be popular and find my way in life. This is not an uncommon story.

I am not saying that I can justify my actions through being misunderstood, and I carried all this crazy stuff, but it trickles into your life from time to time... Sometimes at the crucial decision making time!!! Anyone with me on this ?

I know this story is not uncommon to so many people and I can write so much more on this topic and even the stories.

The thing that I have noticed with life is that so many of the people who were misunderstood at school have taken time to heal, but have become some of the most influential spokespeople in our society

I guess many of my passions and focuses in life, come from lessons....... then go from strength to strength. It hasn't been a smooth journey, but I have learnt and grown and gained skills, grown in my faith and gained tools to better manage situations. It's about empowering people with skills to overcome the spoken lies.

So at the end of the day... stay true to who you are, and if you challenge other people through holding true to your core beliefs and are happy then let them go.... Easier said than done... I know!!

Hope this makes sense....

Peace xx

Wednesday, 15 January 2014

Metamorphosis and the rhythm of life

Metamorphosis.....and.... The rhythm of life...

I absolutely love this word and the meaning behind it. The caterpillar goes into a cocoon and comes out a magnificent butterfly. How amazing is this when we can transfer this concept into our lives? The idea that we can have time to heal, replenish discover who we are then enter the world with beauty and wholeness...

Opening up your world and stepping into the unknown can bring about so many amazing experiences and creates colour and a discovery of who you are...

What I wrote yesterday, last week, last month last year are all like a history book of these moments. This is why I called it a Lifestyle Journey... As we do evolve and go into metamorphosis, so does our work, our ideas, our concepts on life and relationships. We are ever evolving and the more positive we get the better it gets, we become healthier in our out look on life. 

Something has changed in my spirit and I feel I can fly again. My world has opened up in an amazing way, and I am thinking and watching and just want to write and have more experiences, meet more people and learn more.....It is a very cool and empowering place to be.

Finding an outlet for my ideas has given me wings!!! I am now putting it to good use and allowing creativity to flow. This blog and my wellness page has given me a platform and space to direct all these ideas concepts and chatter. I know I am a deep thinker, and some may find it alittle overwhelming, but I am who I am for a reason, just have to work with me xx

After coming to the realisation that I needed to step out and step up with the next season of my life and actually make it happen,  I have been able to start this next journey, and so far it has been really healing. I was explaining to my friend the other day that this blog and my page is continually evolving.

So my point to all this is, that we as a total person, are continually evolving and moving with the rhythms of life. I am glad that my writing and focuses have changed, it shows that my world is opening up. Do not be ashamed of what has past, but look to the beauty that is evolving in your life and celebrate this!

Am I concerned or going to delete the mistakes, the old ways or try to cover anything up?? No... does the butterfly break up the cocoon it came out off? No it leaves it there to show where it has been, then it takes off and lives its life.....

So here it all is... open for everyone to see.... a creative platform an explosion of a new self and a stepping into a colourful world full of new experiences to discover....

Go out and experience the rhythm of life....

Felicity xx

Thursday, 9 January 2014

Mystical power of music

Music and dance..... there is something powerful and mystical about music... it can transport you....

Never let go of the heart beat of your foundation... for me it has been music.... bring back the primal heartbeat...xx

Music is by far is the most powerful emotional mover, it can transform a mood, bring back memories, bring people to tears and get people celebrating, worshiping and dancing. Even as a young child I have had a love affair with all different types of music from classical, rock to world music...... Every stage of my life has been represented by a musical genre.

Growing up I always had music around me, especially with my Mum playing in a folk band. She sang and played the guitar. I remember jam sessions at our house, all this cool music happening around me. To this day there are break out jam sessions, now J is involved playing the drums or percussion.

I remember as a young child always singing and dancing it was a sense of freedom and joy. My Grandfather on my Mother's side had an amazing tenor voice as did his Father, (we have to this day recordings of them singing). Music has been such a huge part of my life, I was classically trained in singing and also the flute. I remember there was talk to send me to the conservatorium of music, but I had to pick up a third instrument, and it was too late at that stage.

To this day still I sing (every day) to pretty much everything and it lifts my spirits, makes my heart light up. I hear a song and my entire mood can change by the beauty of music. There is so much to be said about music therapy and having music around for a healthy brain and lightness of spirit. You can dance, let yourself go, be free in that moment of the power of the music. I love seeing my son dancing and singing and being free....

So many other cultures have music integrated in their lives that it brings communities together and the amazing joy that it brings them. I was watching a documentary last night on Brazil and how the music from the black slaves, the natives and the Portuguese have created this powerful cultural base for life. This is totally what it is all about...

I have been stepping back into my music and it has healed my heart and lifted my spirits beyond what I could imagine. I love dancing and the freedom it brings, so here is the entire point... lol.... Never let go of the heart beat that you have been brought up with. Sometimes life gets in the way, and you let your passions and the things that ignite your passion to go, but it will bring you to a standing holt in your life and bring sadness.

Step back into the mystery of music, allow it to lift your spirits and dance... time to bring back the freedom of the primal heart beat...

Time to now get some music mixes ready for my spin classes.... I love it!!

Felicity xxx

Saturday, 4 January 2014

Authenticity v's perfectionism

Ooohhhhh, abit of a big heading today.... Try saying that five times after a glass of wine!! lol. I dare you! Today's blog is an insight into a very personal journey of mine that I have been struggling with for years, in so many areas of my life.... Trying to create an appearance of being all together, when my spirit was unsettled and suffocated..

Do you find that in your life you go through seasons of re-fining or particular learning stages?. What I mean about this is that you are surrounded by 'that' particular thing that drives you mad!! It is like this lesson needs to be learnt. This destructive mindset needs to be out of your life so you can move into the next season. Time to open your eye's, learn and move on.... should be that easy... I wish!!!!

I have butted heads with people for years or had situations in my life that made me think.. "I really need to sort this out"... High expectations and the facade of trying to be perfect.. It is bloody exhausting, to act in a way so other people are not rattled or feel unsettled. Not wanting to say things or do things that upset others... "What will people think?"

Recently I have been surrounded by many re-fining situations, which have really made me look at myself and also others in a healthier way. Not in a butting of heads situation, but more like, "I don't actually agree with you anymore", and standing up for myself MY voice to be heard. No longer am I just accepting the opinion of others because I doubt my own inner responses.

I do not want to live in the denial of who I am and live with the anxiety of unsettling others. Is this making any sense to you or do you relate to this? I know it is abit deep for a Sunday morning, but it has been burning in my spirit and I had to write it.... xx

How does this all relate to authenticity v's perfectionism... Well I am not perfect!!! I do not always act accordingly in all situations, I stuff up, I make mistakes, I am human, this does not make me a bad person, I might not always say the right thing, I sometimes say the most inappropriate things and I do not always dress up and put makeup on before going out to the shops and the gym!

You know, I have come to the realisation that I stuff up!!! It does not make me unworthy, nor does it make me a bad person. When you get to a stage in your life that you know WHO you are, you know what you are about and STOP trying to be all together perfect and just sit into who you are this is where the magic happens... You become authentic... The anxiety will decrease, the panic attacks will go and depression or the low days will go....

Here's to authenticity... perfectionism and ALL unhealthy expectations can be flung out the window..... Start the journey back to you today.... Let the metamorphosis begin....

Felicity xxxx

Thursday, 2 January 2014

Shaken not stirred please..

"Shaken not stirred" please..... "what does this conjure up to you?.  As you continue this journey with me, you will get the overview that my brain is always ticking over with images, saying's and how it all interrelates.

I was driving in my car the other morning (I have been working at a new fitness centre which is a good drive from home)  it has been a time of fantastic reflection as I flick through the different radio stations to listen to songs and put my thoughts together.

While I was on my drive, I was thinking about the statement 'shaken not stirred' and how it can relate to our lives. I have this little fire that burns in my spirit that wants to shake things up in a good way. I am far from saying that my ideals are correct and for everyone, but a little passion and fire brings life and can ignite creativity and open up your world.

If our lives could be at times shaken and not stirred in a positive healthy way for personal growth, would this not be better than to stay stagnant and not grow? I meet so many people on my different journey's and love the different elements they all bring, but the one thing I always hear from people is their heart for personal growth in different areas of their lives OR the frustration they have from people not being open to new ideas or growth.

So here is my idea, to walk away and think... "Can my life open up to new concepts and ideas from allowing it to be "shaken and not stirred"?

Just a short and sweet little blog today....

Shake it up baby and have a smile on your dial. xxxx