Ooohhhhh, abit of a big heading today.... Try saying that five times after a glass of wine!! lol. I dare you! Today's blog is an insight into a very personal journey of mine that I have been struggling with for years, in so many areas of my life.... Trying to create an appearance of being all together, when my spirit was unsettled and suffocated..
Do you find that in your life you go through seasons of re-fining or particular learning stages?. What I mean about this is that you are surrounded by 'that' particular thing that drives you mad!! It is like this lesson needs to be learnt. This destructive mindset needs to be out of your life so you can move into the next season. Time to open your eye's, learn and move on.... should be that easy... I wish!!!!
I have butted heads with people for years or had situations in my life that made me think.. "I really need to sort this out"... High expectations and the facade of trying to be perfect.. It is bloody exhausting, to act in a way so other people are not rattled or feel unsettled. Not wanting to say things or do things that upset others... "What will people think?"
Recently I have been surrounded by many re-fining situations, which have really made me look at myself and also others in a healthier way. Not in a butting of heads situation, but more like, "I don't actually agree with you anymore", and standing up for myself MY voice to be heard. No longer am I just accepting the opinion of others because I doubt my own inner responses.
I do not want to live in the denial of who I am and live with the anxiety of unsettling others. Is this making any sense to you or do you relate to this? I know it is abit deep for a Sunday morning, but it has been burning in my spirit and I had to write it.... xx
How does this all relate to authenticity v's perfectionism... Well I am not perfect!!! I do not always act accordingly in all situations, I stuff up, I make mistakes, I am human, this does not make me a bad person, I might not always say the right thing, I sometimes say the most inappropriate things and I do not always dress up and put makeup on before going out to the shops and the gym!
You know, I have come to the realisation that I stuff up!!! It does not make me unworthy, nor does it make me a bad person. When you get to a stage in your life that you know WHO you are, you know what you are about and STOP trying to be all together perfect and just sit into who you are this is where the magic happens... You become authentic... The anxiety will decrease, the panic attacks will go and depression or the low days will go....
Here's to authenticity... perfectionism and ALL unhealthy expectations can be flung out the window..... Start the journey back to you today.... Let the metamorphosis begin....